


wann wollen wir wieder beisammen sein

by Bonesout, elsinorerose



Series: beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Pining, Romance, chatfic, probably a terrible mangling of german we are so sorry we had to use google translate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 21:50:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18678031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonesout/pseuds/Bonesout, https://archiveofourown.org/users/elsinorerose/pseuds/elsinorerose
Summary: JESTER: So there is this guy here right. And he has an accentjust like yours.And he’spretty cute.So can you tell me how to flirt with him in Zemnian?





	wann wollen wir wieder beisammen sein

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to another And-Then-They-Texted-Using-Parchments-of-Sending!fic. Today's offering features Bones as Caleb and Christine as Jester. Please _(please)_ excuse the Zemnian here, all we had was Google Translate, I'm sure it's terrible, but just...ignore that. Thanks for reading, and enjoy!

**JESTER**

Cayleeeeeeeeeeeb

**CALEB**

...ja?

**JESTER**

Oh GOOD you’re THERE

I need advice.

**CALEB**

Sure, what can I do for you.

**JESTER**

So there is this  _ guy _ here right

And he has an accent  _ just like yours _

And he’s  _ pretty cute _

So can you tell me how to flirt with him in Zemnian?

**CALEB**

Oh, well, that’s quite a tall request. But I will do what I can.

**JESTER**

Okay so

I am going to take notes okay

How do you say  _ hello handsome _

That’s a good start right

**CALEB**

That is a very...abrupt, but good start I suppose. Simple enough too. “Hallo Schönheit,” are the words you’re looking for.

Be careful though, he is a stranger no matter how good looking, alright? Keep your fists clenched...and ready.

**JESTER**

Oh sure of course.

I am just writing this down

Okay so how about something like

_ did you know you’re super cute _

**CALEB**

Hah. Yes, that would be, eh... _ “Wusstest du, dass du super süß bist?”  _ Something along the lines of that.

You’re sure this man is Zemnian? I don’t want you feeling awkward for getting

The wrong language.

**JESTER**

No no I heard him speak it!

He called somebody  _ liebchen _

Whatever that means

You’ve said it before

**CALEB**

Oh. Ja. Zemnian.

Have I?

**JESTER**

I think so.

**CALEB**

Must have, if you’ve heard it.

**JESTER**

You called Nott that once.

**CALEB**

Ah, that would be it then. Yes.

I was worried it was a drunken state.

Anyways.

**JESTER**

And you called me  _ liebling _ once when you were drunk — yes.

**CALEB**

Oh

I — yes — well, don’t worry, it’s...

**JESTER**

But this guy is not calling anyone here that.

**CALEB**

A term of endearment.

**JESTER**

I mean that’s what I figured Caleb I didn’t think it was like an insult or something.

Okay so after I go up to him and tell him he’s cute and he’s obviously going to be super enchanted by me and everything

**CALEB**

Yes, very enchanted.

**JESTER**

How do I say  _ you have really beautiful eyes _

**CALEB**

Like this.  _ “Du hast wirklich schöne Augen.” _

Be gentle with your pronunciations. Don’t overthink it.

**JESTER**

Okay okay

I will do my best

Oh and  _ I like your hair? _

**CALEB**

His hair. Ah,  _ “Ich mag deine Haare.” _

**JESTER**

Haaaaaaare

**CALEB**

Are you going to compliment all of his body parts?

**JESTER**

I mean  _ eventually _

**CALEB**

Yes. Just like that.

**JESTER**

That’s the  _ plan _

**CALEB**

Oh, Jester.

**JESTER**

He’s got a nice body. Sort of...wiry but nice.

**CALEB**

And this is your type?

Interesting.

**JESTER**

Do I have to have a  _ type? _ Hot is hot.

**CALEB**

...good point.

**JESTER**

There’s all kinds of hot.

Sometimes hot is sort of skinny but decisive.

**CALEB**

Ja, what is the saying... _ “Schönheit liegt im Auge des Betrachters...” _

I see.

**JESTER**

Oh I think I can tell what that means!

See I’m learning so much from you Caleb.

**CALEB**

You think so?

Well, you are observant like that.

**JESTER**

Okay so once I’ve like totally seduced this guy and it’s later on how do I say you’re really sweet and thoughtful

**CALEB**

_ Du bist sehr süß und nachdenklich... _

**JESTER**

Cool.

That’s a funny letter there.

**CALEB**

Yes. Very cool.

**JESTER**

It looks kinda like a sideways heart.

**CALEB**

It...it sort of does, doesn’t it.

I never noticed.

**JESTER**

I just say it like an S, right?

**CALEB**

Ehh...sort of, with a little more emphasis.

**JESTER**

Ssssssss

**CALEB**

Yes. Good, good.

**JESTER**

Okay,  _ you make me feel like I matter? _

For this hot guy.

**CALEB**

Right. Ah.  _ “Du lässt mich das Gefühl haben, mir etwas zu bedeuten.” _

**JESTER**

That’s a long one.

**CALEB**

It’s got a lot of emotion packed into it.

**JESTER**

Oh well that makes sense.

Good to know.

What about  _ I’m sorry it took me so long? _

**CALEB**

Why would you need to say that? Have you not only just met?

But, for you, it’s  _ “Es tut mir leid, dass ich so lange gebraucht habe.” _

**JESTER**

Oh, you know...I don’t know...I’ve been sitting here in the corner writing this to you for a while, you know, he’s probably getting impatient

**CALEB**

True. I would expect he would be.

**JESTER**

I can’t tell if he’s into me or not for sure but I think he is.

**CALEB**

I cant imagine how he wouldn’t be...into, someone as whimsical as you. And, well, if he’s not, he’s...missing out.

You should probably punch him if that’s the case.

If he does anything close to rejection or harm.

You don’t...deserve that sort of thing.

**JESTER**

I can’t just go around punching anyone who doesn’t think I’m cute Caleb

**CALEB**

Well, you could.

But you’re right.

Your heart is...way too big to commit such an act.

_ scheisse _ , I apologize, this is about you and your new friend. What...

What else do you need to know?

**JESTER**

Aww. I was more thinking I might accidentally kill him.

**CALEB**

You could certainly do that. He might learn his lesson then.

**JESTER**

I don’t think I need to worry though. He’s been giving me, like...looks.

**CALEB**

Looks.

**JESTER**

Yeah you know

I-wish-I-could-kiss-you looks.

**CALEB**

I do know what you mean by that.

**JESTER**

I mean unless I’m WAY off.

Oh YOU KNOW

Like

**CALEB**

Like I said, you’re observant. I’m sure you’re right.

**JESTER**

Staring at me when he thinks I’m not looking. Not in like a CREEPY way, just like he thinks I’m really special.

**CALEB**

Yes. A very effective look, for sure.

What are you waiting around for? Go talk to him.

**JESTER**

I mean it  _ kind of _ makes me weak in the knees, so.

Definitely effective.

**CALEB**

Weak in the knees, eh?

What a look.

**JESTER**

Well I’m sitting down but you know what I mean.

Besides, I am talking to him, Caleb.

**CALEB**

Then why are you still using this? I don’t want to eavesdrop, go go go, have your moment,  _ liebling _ .

**JESTER**

Oh Caleb.

I thought you were supposed to be smart.

**CALEB**

I am —

**JESTER**

It would be pretty hard to talk to him without using this paper since he isn’t in the room with me.

**CALEB**

_ Oh Scheiße, ich liebe dich so sehr. _

Jester, you— fuck, I was already drowning before, and now...

**JESTER**

What?! Why are you DROWNING

**CALEB**

Listen, blueberry, listen to me.

**JESTER**

Oh wait are you being romantic.

**CALEB**

I am.

Even though I shouldn’t be.

**JESTER**

No no you definitely should be.

**CALEB**

_ Scheisse _

**JESTER**

...are you okay?

**CALEB**

I’m fine.

Fine.

I love you.

**JESTER**

How do you say  _ I love you too? _

**CALEB**

You don’t — ah,  _ ich liebe dich auch _

**JESTER**

Ich liebe dich auch.

**CALEB**

Say it again.

**JESTER**

Ich liebe dich auch. Du lässt mich das Gefühl haben, mir etwas zu bedeuten.

Es tut mir leid, dass ich so lange gebraucht habe.

Did I get that right?

**CALEB**

It was perfect. Everything I ever wanted to hear.

But... _ scheisse _ , you — Jester.

I’m a broken man. You realize that, right?

**JESTER**

I know you pretty well, Caleb, I figured that out.

I’m a...a lost woman.

**CALEB**

And I am not far. Ever. I will make you feel like... _ du bist wichtig. _ Do you know what that means?

**JESTER**

No

**CALEB**

You matter, Jester. And you— fuck, make me feel whole. As broken as I am.

You are stronger than the thoughts that convince you that you are lost. Trust me, I have seen it with my own two eyes.

**JESTER**

If you help me find myself I’ll help put you back together, okay? Is it a deal?

**CALEB**

I think we can work out something like that.

Where are you?

**JESTER**

Just, you know. Somewhere.

**CALEB**

_ Is this a game to you, Lavorre? _

**JESTER**

OF COURSE this is a game, WIDOGAST.

I want you to keep flirting with me.

**CALEB**

But... _ I need to see you. And your face is probably a blushing mess. _

**JESTER**

Oh I am full on crying right now.

You love me.

**CALEB**

_ cRYING? _

**JESTER**

I was hoping you maybe had feelings for me but you love me.

**CALEB**

_ scheisse _ , Jester, you are just

You open my eyes every day.

Every word, like I said, I’m drowning in it.

**JESTER**

I should’ve

I wish I’d figured it out sooner. How important you make me feel. How much you listen. How kind you are.

How you give me those little smiles and it’s like you’re casting a spell on me or something.

**CALEB**

I am a very patient man.

Not right now though,  _ fuck _ .

**JESTER**

I mean Caleb I think I’ve felt this way since we were  _ pirates _ it just took me forever to  _ figure it the fuck out _

**CALEB**

You are adorable. Gods, that long?

**JESTER**

I THINK so.

Do you remember when we talked on the boat about Astrid

**CALEB**

I am just disappointed I did not step up sooner. I am...not very brave. Especially around you.

I do.

**JESTER**

When I had that stupid crush on Fjord

**CALEB**

It wasn’t stupid.

**JESTER**

You told me Astrid had a nice nose and the first thing I thought was I wonder if my nose is nice.

**CALEB**

Your nose is breathtaking. It curves. It’s dusted with freckles. It scrunches up when you laugh.

Lavorre, look what you have done to me.

I can’t even...I’m out of control right now...

**JESTER**

Oh my god.

You like my nose.

**CALEB**

I love it. I want to kiss it.

Gently.

**JESTER**

I like yours too.

**CALEB**

The big intrusion on my face?

**JESTER**

And your eyes. And everything I said before in Zemnian.

Yes!!

Your nose is very handsome.

It’s distinguished.

**CALEB**

It is, isn’t it.

My mother always loved my eyes. I haven’t had anyone tell me that since I heard it from her.

**JESTER**

They’re beautiful.

She was right.

**CALEB**

Thank you.

**JESTER**

They’re just like the softest blue.

**CALEB**

Now  _ I _ am crying.

**JESTER**

Caleb!

Shit sorry let me just

Here no I’ll fix it I’ll tell you what else I like

**CALEB**

No, no, it is a happy cry.

Very happy.

**JESTER**

Like your neck and your shoulders

**CALEB**

But please, keep going.

**JESTER**

And your sexy hands

And your arms when they’re not all completely covered up

Do you remember that time you got basically smooshed by that giant and we had to take your shirt off while we healed you

**CALEB**

Vaguely, yes.

**JESTER**

Yeah I guess you were sort of out of it.

Well like it was  _ terrifying _ and I thought you might die but you know  _ after _ we’d fixed you up and the bruises and broken bones were gone the point is that you have a very nice chest.

And tummy.

**CALEB**

Really? I’m sure you’ll have a marvelous time getting to know it better.

**JESTER**

I’m gonna kiss like all the way down from your mouth to your neck to your chest and just sort of keep going until I hit anything interesting.

**CALEB**

_ Fuck _ . Ja, well

**JESTER**

There, are you still crying now.

**CALEB**

No. Just very red.

**JESTER**

I’m not crying anymore either.

Just very sort of...hot all over.

**CALEB**

You are pretty hot all over.

I mean —  _ scheisse _

**JESTER**

Oh my  _ god, _ Caleb.

**CALEB**

But I — will run my hands through your hair. Whisper things you don’t understand.

And kiss every last damn freckle on your body.

**JESTER**

But Caleb there’s so many.

In so many places.

**CALEB**

I do not care.

They’re mine.

**JESTER**

They are yours.

I’m yours.

**CALEB**

Seriously, where the fuck are you?

**JESTER**

I’m at the Pillow Trove.

**CALEB**

I am going mad —

**JESTER**

Is there a teleportation circle in Zadash?

That Yussah would know?

**CALEB**

Is there? I need to — catch my breath.

**JESTER**

Did I  _ fluster you Caleb _

**CALEB**

When have you not,  _ liebling _ , when have you not...

**JESTER**

What does liebling mean anyway

**CALEB**

I will fucking show you.

It — darling. It means darling.

Term of endearment. I told you.

**JESTER**

Okay I’m like upstairs in that room we hung out in the first time we were here do you remember

Ages ago

**CALEB**

Oh, our dodecahedron experience?

**JESTER**

Was that here?

**CALEB**

I am so muddled in my head right now.

**JESTER**

I mean Caleb we can have a...dodecahedron experience here...if you want

**CALEB**

I’d like that very much.

**JESTER**

By which I mean I’ll hold your hand while you zone out and say cryptic mysterious things.

**CALEB**

I can do that. I can.

Beau just walked by.

Asked if I needed a cleric.

**JESTER**

oh no.

**CALEB**

I said yes.

And then immediately no.

**JESTER**

You need one very specific cleric.

**CALEB**

Ex-exactly.

**JESTER**

On top of you. In a room at the Pillow Trove. And  _ why aren’t you finding that teleportation circle _

**CALEB**

I’m on my way to it right now.

**JESTER**

GOOD.

**CALEB**

Yussah was very confused. I just said emergency.

**JESTER**

It is an emergency.

**CALEB**

It is.

**JESTER**

See you in a minute schönheit.

**CALEB**

You clever woman...You will have to show me more of your tricks. I will see you then.

**JESTER**

See you.


End file.
